#58: Season 2, Episode 9 - "Love and Basketball"
Donnie is coaching The Dingoes – a pretty hopeless elementary school basketball team. Louis ends up becoming Donnie’s assistant coach after accidentally getting through to the kids in a way Donnie couldn’t. He lets it go to his head as usual and completely takes over. Elsewhere, Ren and Bobby become “official” and she starts wearing his letterman jacket. The only problem is that he’s too nervous to kiss, and awkwardly high fives her instead.
The episode opens with Donnie coaching The Dingoes. By the end of the first sequence, you get the sense that these kids have no idea what they’re doing. One is eating a jelly donut while he plays. And another, Carlos, refuses to accept that they’re playing basketball and acts like they’re playing soccer (i.e. playing using his feet, knees, and head). I can’t. There’s no way in hell any of these children would make it onto a school basketball team by trying out… But, maybe elementary school is just extra PC like that. Ya know, letting anyone and everyone on the team out of fairness. The team is a mix of girls and boys, which I don’t think is very common? So, that’s cool!
Right about now is when Louis enters! He makes his way into the gym, buffering the floor. He tells Donnie he’s helping out the school janitor because he always gets bored during “the odd hour between detention and dinner.” At least he’s using his free time for the greater good of the community?
Right about now is when Louis enters! He makes his way into the gym, buffering the floor. He tells Donnie he’s helping out the school janitor because he always gets bored during “the odd hour between detention and dinner.” At least he’s using his free time for the greater good of the community?
Donnie asks Louis to keep an eye on the team while he gets his playbook. During this time, Louis decides to have them practice “visualization” - practicing plays without actually using the ball. Once the kids get the ball back, they suddenly don’t suck! They all agree it must be Louis’ expertise and one of a kind genius that helped them actually make a basket for once. So right then and there they assign him the position of assistant coach. You already know things are about to go downhill. Everything’s dandy until Donnie tells Louis “Your buffer’s on the attack.” And we see that the buffer literally has a mind of it’s own and starts chasing them all around the gym. This is honestly hilarious to me because it almost feels like a precursor to Louis and Ren running from the Ultra Lounge-O-Matic Super Chair in The Even Stevens Movie. It’s so bizarre and random. We get a delightful Louis Scream here, and even a dramatic trip & fall from Shia. It’s amazing.
Then we hit the subplot. We get a rainy shot of Lawrence Jr. High with sad romantic comedy music in the background. Oh, lord. Ren is walking around by herself holding a freaking giant rainbow umbrella, passing by couple after couple. She’s smiling, yet obviously upset that she’s alone. Then Bobby shows up! He gives her a cookie he saved from lunch, and they just kinda giggle and stare at each other. This is all incredibly accurate to how Junior High (and even High School tbh) “relationships” are. There’s awkward silence here that makes you feel awkward watching it. So props to them for translating it so spot on. The two of them confirm a study date and Bobby says “You know, I never really liked homework until I met you?” Ren is eating this up, so she goes in for the first kiss kill. Good on you for makin’ the first move, girl. But, her plans are shut down with an “Alright! UP TOP!” high five gesture from Bobby and she’s so taken aback like “Okay…? ….!!!!!” I’m actually dying laughing inside. Anyway, Bobby leaves and Ren is still feeling emo because no kiss :(
Then we hit the subplot. We get a rainy shot of Lawrence Jr. High with sad romantic comedy music in the background. Oh, lord. Ren is walking around by herself holding a freaking giant rainbow umbrella, passing by couple after couple. She’s smiling, yet obviously upset that she’s alone. Then Bobby shows up! He gives her a cookie he saved from lunch, and they just kinda giggle and stare at each other. This is all incredibly accurate to how Junior High (and even High School tbh) “relationships” are. There’s awkward silence here that makes you feel awkward watching it. So props to them for translating it so spot on. The two of them confirm a study date and Bobby says “You know, I never really liked homework until I met you?” Ren is eating this up, so she goes in for the first kiss kill. Good on you for makin’ the first move, girl. But, her plans are shut down with an “Alright! UP TOP!” high five gesture from Bobby and she’s so taken aback like “Okay…? ….!!!!!” I’m actually dying laughing inside. Anyway, Bobby leaves and Ren is still feeling emo because no kiss :(
At The Dingoes’ next game, we find out that this is the only one they need to win in order to make it to the playoffs — because there are only 4 teams in the league and everyone makes it to the playoffs. So, yeah. Elementary school is definitely just PC like that. Oddly enough, they say only 3 out of the 4 teams get trophies. Everyone makes it to the playoffs, but one poor team walks away with nothing??? What kind of fairness is that?! Basically, The Dingoes just really want to win a trophy. So to help them achieve this, Louis comes up with a play spur of the moment that includes one of the kids falling to the floor and BARKING like a dog to distract everyone while someone else on the team scores a basket. I believe this play was taken from Chapter 8 of “B-Ball Pro Tips for Boneheads” by Louis Stevens – Available at a bookstore near you. The Dingoes win!
At Ren and Bobby’s study date, Bobby pulls the “I can’t focus” card. So, Ren gets all hungry eyes like “That’s alright. We can study Math anytime…” all sultry as she scoots closer to him on the couch. I’m so uncomfortable. It just hit me that Bobby/Ren can’t even have a unique ship moniker. Either way you flip it you just get a generic guy name: “Robby” / “Ben.”)
Bobby goes on to ask Ren if she wants to wear his letterman jacket and she’s over the moon. “Wear it… Like, we’re a couple or???” she asks just to make sure. And yes. He does in fact want them to be a couple. This is so crazy to me, though. This episode is 15 years old. (That alone is insane, but.) Did kids do this in 2001?! Something tells me they didn’t. It reminds me of when my grandmother talks about “going steady” with someone. No one talks like that today. What’s also crazy to me is that I always forget Ren is actually popular? She’s written as a book-smart overachiever and borderline nerdy. Almost the complete opposite of what a “popular” girl is usually like on TV. But here she is! Wearing the letterman jacket of the most popular boy in school who she’s always had a raging crush on. Weird. Props to the show for kinda flipping the definition of “popular girl” on its head in that case! Anyway, Ren is biting her lip and I’m still uncomfortable. Surely this would be the moment to seal the deal with a kiss. But, once again: DENIED by the high five. I’m still laughing. Louis walks in and proceeds to unknowingly give Bobby a high five. Bobby leaves and gives Ren another high five. Everyone’s high-fiving awkwardly and it’s great.
Ren talks to Eileen about how she hates that all Bobby does is high five her. We get a flashback to the 70s of Eileen and Steve, showing us that all Steve did was “hip bump” her before they kissed for the first time. It’s something else. Eileen assures Ren that Bobby will come around.
At the next Dingoes game… I literally don’t even know how to begin. The gym goes dark, lights start flashing, there’s a voice over “Ladies and Gentleman. Children of all ages… Please welcome your Pee-Wee league DINGOOOES!” and the team is seen rolling a giant paper mâché basketball onto the court. Of course, Louis breaks out of the ball and starts screaming at the opposing team. Steve, who happens to be the referee, shuts it down immediately and Louis says “Dad… We didn’t even get to the fireworks display yet.” I love Louis. But I will never understand how he has so much time and talent to pull this kind of stuff off. Louis walks into the team’s locker room after the game raving about how great they did. The Dingoes are confused because they lost 55 to 3. Then Louis clarifies that he was referring to the hard work they put into their “halftime salute to Broadway.” THESE LINES. They’re just thrown in there so subtly like it’s just another sentence. But, when you stop and think about them… you just laugh. The kids explain that ever since Donnie left, all they’ve done is stupid stuff unrelated to basketball. They’re frustrated and feel like they’ll never win a trophy now.
At the next Dingoes game… I literally don’t even know how to begin. The gym goes dark, lights start flashing, there’s a voice over “Ladies and Gentleman. Children of all ages… Please welcome your Pee-Wee league DINGOOOES!” and the team is seen rolling a giant paper mâché basketball onto the court. Of course, Louis breaks out of the ball and starts screaming at the opposing team. Steve, who happens to be the referee, shuts it down immediately and Louis says “Dad… We didn’t even get to the fireworks display yet.” I love Louis. But I will never understand how he has so much time and talent to pull this kind of stuff off. Louis walks into the team’s locker room after the game raving about how great they did. The Dingoes are confused because they lost 55 to 3. Then Louis clarifies that he was referring to the hard work they put into their “halftime salute to Broadway.” THESE LINES. They’re just thrown in there so subtly like it’s just another sentence. But, when you stop and think about them… you just laugh. The kids explain that ever since Donnie left, all they’ve done is stupid stuff unrelated to basketball. They’re frustrated and feel like they’ll never win a trophy now.
Ren and Bobby go to the playoff game together and this time, she’s surrounded by couples who are kissing every few seconds, lol. Now it gets serious. He goes to high five her again, so she confronts Bobby and ends up yelling “No. Not another high five. Once in a while it’d be nice to get a little smOOCH-A-ROOOOO!!!!” and the entire gym goes silent. Awkward.
Louis is there on the sidelines drinking all of their Gatorade. What the hell, Louis. They only have 3 seconds left in the game and need a strong play in order to win and GET THAT TROPHY! Louis suggests they pass the ball to Carlos since no one will expect them to. And The Dingoes win!!! All thanks to Carlos and his head — which he used to score the basket. That would definitely result in a penalty if someone tried that in the NBA. But, WHO CARES?! They get third place overall, and individual trophies the size of large acorns. But, a trophy is a trophy so they’re happy.
That night, Bobby comes over to the house and explains that it’s not that he doesn’t want to kiss Ren. He does want to kiss Ren, and he’s been thinking about it a lot. This is so??? Then - in true romantic comedy fashion - Ren is nervously rambling and Bobby cuts her off with a kiss mid-sentence. The music swells. Bam! First kiss achieved. Can I just say, though.. ”Romantic Ren” (that’s what I’m calling it) is so cringy, it just makes me laugh. She’s so intense and awkwardly flirty! Also, I always felt weird about Ren and Bobby as a couple, and I’m not even gonna act like I don’t know why. It’s because REN BELONGS WITH LARRY!!!!!! Yes, Larry Beale. He hasn’t appeared in my countdown yet, but trust me. I will dig into this whole Ren/Larry situation once he does.
And that’s the episode! I’m not the biggest fan of this one because Louis’ A-plot feels more like a Donnie A-plot to me. Plus they both share the plot with all of the kids so… the dynamic feels a little different in this one. And like I mentioned briefly.. Louis kinda shows those uglier aspects of his personality here. I actually do like this Ren subplot a lot, though. Basically, because I live for good old-fashioned teen drama. It’s so entertaining to me, lol.
In case you missed it.. I just got back from LA and while I was out there I visited filming locations from the show! Including the Stevens’ house and LJH! I shared some photos and wrote about the experience in my last post! :)
Thanks to those of you who have been checking out the blog daily! And hello, new followers! I’m trying to come up with a day that I feel like I could commit to posting a new entry on to keep the blog consistent for you guys. I’m leaning towards every Saturday.
Please, feel free to start a conversation below! <3
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