Even Stevens Ranked!

Donnie is coaching The Dingoes – a pretty hopeless elementary school basketball team. Louis ends up becoming Donnie’s assistant coach after accidentally getting through to the kids in a way Donnie couldn’t. He lets it go to his head as usual and completely takes over. Elsewhere, Ren and Bobby become “official” and she starts wearing his letterman jacket. The only problem is that he’s too nervous to kiss, and awkwardly high fives her instead. The episode opens with Donnie coaching The Dingoes. By the end of the first sequence, you get the sense that these kids have no idea what they’re doing. One is eating a jelly donut while he plays. And another, Carlos, refuses to accept that they’re playing basketball and acts like they’re playing soccer (i.e. playing using his feet, knees, and head). I can’t. There’s no way in hell any of these children would make it onto a school basketball team by trying out… But, maybe elementary school is just extra PC like that. Ya know, letting anyone ...

Donnie makes a “celebrity” guest visit back to Lawrence Jr. High to be enshrined in the Wombat Hall of Fame. Louis starts to feel extra inadequate, so he rigs Donnie’s pommel horse with the motor from a mechanical bull. While demonstrating one of his winning gymnastic routines, Donnie goes flying off the pommel horse and gets a back injury that could cost him his college football scholarship. For this episode’s B-plot, Beans plays pranks on Ren.

I don’t even know what to say about this one. Louis is my favorite character, so I’m usually not too crazy about certain Ren-centric plots. Sometimes, Louis’ subplot will be enough to save the episode… But, unfortunately, neither plot does enough for me here. This episode is just kinda… There. Not to mention, somewhat forgettable. Ren organizes a one-time, “Mother/Daughter Bowl-O-Rama fundraiser” to raise money for the school. After participating in it with her mom, Ren becomes embarrassed because Eileen was slightly obnoxious and bowled straight gutter balls all night. But Eileen had a blast and thought they were a big hit, so she signs them up for a weekly Mother/Daughter bowling league. Ren’s not too happy. So.. What’s Louis’ subplot, you ask? He hires a butler named Chives for a week, with money he won from a stinky feet competition. Yeah. “Master Stevens is present” Chives says in a posh British accent during roll call while he makes Louis a frappé and the fancy, ri...