If there’s one thing all of my lower-ranked, least-strong episodes have in common, it’s the strange lack of any stand out quotable dialogue or laughs. Not only that, certain episodes feel “off” to me. Specifically in Season 3. As if the show lost it’s touch towards the end or something. It’s hard to explain. But, a handful of episodes in the 3rd season make me feel like I’m watching an entirely different, surreal, and warped version of the show.
In this episode, Louis and Twitty get Principal Wexler to quit his job and pursue a career as a model after anonymously submitting some photos of him to an agency. This leaves Vice Principal Landau in charge. (Who we’ve never seen or heard of before.) This was Louis’ goal, because he wants school to be one big party and Landau is a total pushover. Everything is one big party, until Landau actually steps up and goes to pretty sadistic extremes to restore order. Elsewhere, Donnie needs Beans’ help to win a giant teddy bear for some random girl he may or may not be dating. So, he coaches Beans at Skeeball. It’s an underwhelming subplot.
The episode opens with Ren in Wexler’s office holding strudel samples for the big upcoming “Strudel Day” (?!) in the cafeteria. But, to Ren’s confusion and dismay, Wexler announces over the intercom that he’s leaving. The entire school laughs when he says his reason is to become a male model. It cuts to Louis and Twitty in detention high-fiving each other for a job well done. They “actually got rid of Wexler!” Which I don’t really understand. Wexler has always been a pretty cool principal, imo. But, Louis complains that he gave them 6 days of detention and was robbing them of their youth. So, apparently 86-ing him entirely seems like the logical and completely plausible thing for a middle schooler to do. Instead of simply not doing things that could land him in detention for 6 days. Nah.
We meet Mr. Landau. A bumbling, unconfident, aspiring magician. That’s it really.
When it cuts back to Ren saying her goodbye’s to Wexler.. Melodramatic organ music is playing, and they’re bidding farewell like they’re on a soap opera. It’s a little over the top.
Then we get to Donnie’s subplot. He’s on a date with some girl at the arcade, playing Skeeball. She’s obviously fake and manipulative. But Donnie wants to impress her and win 10,000 tickets to afford the giant teddy she wants. He sees a flier for the KSAC-Radio Arcade Contest, and the prize is a convenient 10,000 tickets! The problem? It’s only open to kids 10 and under. He calls on Beans for help.
We get a montage of Donnie training Beans. Beans is exercising, practicing, and lifting weights. Then we get this ridiculous CGI muscle shot which was always off-putting to me. It’s not really funny, and feels like another cheap laugh they threw in for the heck of it. Either way, Beans gets really good at Skeeball and Donnie is super excited.
The strong, funny, quality dialogue that’s missing from these low-ranked episodes is swapped out for gags like this instead. WHY?!?!
I’m just gonna cut to the end of Donnie’s plot now. Beans wins the contest but uses the tickets to buy the giant teddy bear for a girl his age that he likes. Donnie’s date walks out on him because she didn’t get what she wanted. The end.
Louis and Twitty glue Tom’s shoes to the hallway floor, making him unable to go to class. This is a test to see how Landau will react upon seeing a student skipping. Landau does nothing but pull a flower out from behind Tom’s ear. Louis and Twitty rejoice. Louis shouts “FROM NOW ON LIFE’S ONE BIG PARTY, BUDDY!” - This quote/clip was used on a few Disney Channel commercials.
Too meek and scared to stand up to the students, Landau allows the school to spiral into complete and total anarchy.
There is one line that made me laugh around here, though. Amid the chaos, a kid rips off a teacher’s toupée:
Shia’s delivery is immaculate. But this is nowhere near as good as the golden quotes we get earlier in the series.
Tawny is rightfully concerned. She asks Louis if he thinks things have gotten out of control and he says “WHAT?! Look around! This is the freedom we’ve always dreamed of!” This bothers me. Louis feels like he’s entitled to goofing off. This is slightly annoying because only 2 episodes earlier, Louis decided he no longer wants to be “a clown.” So, clearly the logical thing to do next is have him singlehandedly turn the entire school into a legitimate circus!
Side point: This brings me to attention to detail. It starts to get a little lazy. Like someone behind the wheel of this thing stopped caring about continuity. In addition to what I previously said, Tom says his name is “Thomas Randolph Gribalski,” but in earlier episodes it’s already been established that his name is “Thomas L. Gribalski.” Why?! This is such a simple thing to keep a note of.
That’s just one example here. Things like that bother me so much!! But, I digress.
Ren confronts Landau and tells him he absolutely needs to take control and show the kids who’s boss. So, he comes up with a new motto… “You do the crime, you will wear the sign”:
This progressively gets out of control. The signs get more and more personal and cruel. Ren tries talking to him again, saying it’s becoming a little harsh. But, Landau is now on a massive power trip. He cancels Strudel Day (*gasp!*), ignores Ren’s comments, and even makes her wear a sign that says “I’m a busy-body.” This is the last straw for Ren.
She and Louis decide it’s time to convince Wexler to come back, so they go visit him at the modeling studio he’s currently at. On their way in, Louis tries (and fails) to say “Voulez vous coucher avec moi, Ladies” to two female models. A little risqué for Disney, tbh. There are a few things that pop up throughout the series that would never fly on Disney Channel today.
They find out that Mr. Wexler is actually super depressed at his modeling job. They rescue him and bring him back to school where he resumes his position as principal! Everyone’s happy again! Yay! But, just look at how unrealistically bleak the school became over the course of a day:
It’s a freakin’ prison.
Ren, Louis and Wexler all pitch in to help get Landau a job as the resident magician on a cruise ship. I thought it was interesting because they mention that the cruise starts in Helsinki, Finland. That’s where Beans says his parents are vacationing in The Even Stevens Movie.
The episode ends with Louis and Wexler playing video games in Louis’ room, lol… Okay…
Shia’s shirt-over-the-head thing he does every so often always makes me laugh for some reason. I just love it so much.
Much like “In Ren We Trust,” I never cared for this episode. Like I mentioned before, some things started to get a bit too surreal and unrealistic to the point where it became difficult for me to really see past that and enjoy it. From time to time I get so upset that we only got 3 seasons and 65 episodes (Due to Disney’s standard contract for all of their shows back then) But, then I think if this is the direction the show was going in… It’s probably best that it ended when it did. I didn’t rank it dead last though because I actually found the plot a little more entertaining upon re-watching it.
I do want this countdown generate some sort of discussion, haha. Even Stevens deserves more love and attention. So please! If there’s anything you’d like to say or contribute… Go for it! :)
When a duchess named Lady Jane comes to visit Sacramento as a foreign exchange student, the Stevens take her in for the week. Ren promises to show her all that America has to offer! Which by Ren-standards, is code for a boring as all hell historical tour of the city. Meanwhile, our main plot follows Louis and Twitty. They’re on a mission to chow down a freaking giant burger called The King Sloppy. If you’re able to eat the entire thing in 30 minutes, you get it for free – and your picture on the restaurants’ wall of fame. So, they concoct a scheme which includes a character “Mike Hegeman” who they both dress up as, hoping to get away with taking sneaky turns eating the burger. Spoiler: They don’t.
Donnie is coaching The Dingoes – a pretty hopeless elementary school basketball team. Louis ends up becoming Donnie’s assistant coach after accidentally getting through to the kids in a way Donnie couldn’t. He lets it go to his head as usual and completely takes over. Elsewhere, Ren and Bobby become “official” and she starts wearing his letterman jacket. The only problem is that he’s too nervous to kiss, and awkwardly high fives her instead. The episode opens with Donnie coaching The Dingoes. By the end of the first sequence, you get the sense that these kids have no idea what they’re doing. One is eating a jelly donut while he plays. And another, Carlos, refuses to accept that they’re playing basketball and acts like they’re playing soccer (i.e. playing using his feet, knees, and head). I can’t. There’s no way in hell any of these children would make it onto a school basketball team by trying out… But, maybe elementary school is just extra PC like that. Ya know, letting anyone
Donnie makes a “celebrity” guest visit back to Lawrence Jr. High to be enshrined in the Wombat Hall of Fame. Louis starts to feel extra inadequate, so he rigs Donnie’s pommel horse with the motor from a mechanical bull. While demonstrating one of his winning gymnastic routines, Donnie goes flying off the pommel horse and gets a back injury that could cost him his college football scholarship. For this episode’s B-plot, Beans plays pranks on Ren.
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